Monday, March 24, 2008


We’ve come across thousands of knee-slapping pick-up lines such as “do you have a map? Because I’m lost in your eyes.” Here I provide you another 20 and their potential rejections.

1. Hey beautiful, what are you doing tonight?
Sorry I don’t date outside my species.

2. Hi gorgeous, where have you been all my life?
Well, for most of it, I wasn’t born.

3. Is this seat empty?
Yes and this one will be too if you sit down.

4. May I have the last dance?
You’ve just had it.

5. When can I take you out?
How about never? Is never good for you?

6. Why won’t you come out with me? Lower your standards a little.
I did, and the answer is still no.

7. Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Do not enter.

8. I reckon we’d be great together.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

9. I’d go through anything with you.
Let’s start with your bank account.

10. Y’know, I really like you.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

11. Y’know, heads turn when they see your face.
And stomachs turn when they see yours.

12. I want to give myself to you.
Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

13. I would go to the end of the world with you?
Yeah, but would you stay there?

14. You knock me dead with your looks.
You knock me dead with your breath.

15. We could make sweet music together.
I’m looking for a guy with a grand piano, not a penny whistle.

16. I can tell that you want me.
Yes, I want you to leave.

17. I know how to please a woman.
Then please leave me alone.

18. Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

19. I happen to think you’re great.
I happen to think you’re grate.

20. Listen honey, you and I were meant for each other.
Save your breath for your inflatable date.

And handy excuses for getting out of a date...

I’d like to go out with you but...
1. The man on TV told me to stay tuned.
2. I’m trying to be less popular.
3. I’m going to count bristles in my toothbrush.
4. I promised a friend to fold road maps.
5. There are important world issues that need worrying about.
6. I have to jog my memory.
7. None of my socks match.
8. My bathroom tiles need grouting.
9. My favourite commercial is on TV.
10. I have to study for my blood test.
11. My plot to take over the world is gathering pace.
12. I never go out on days that end in a Y.
13. My palm reader advised me against it.

Credit: The Mammoth Book of Jokes =)

With love,

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